Last night's episode exhausted us, and we were only passive watchers. The latest pack of Top Chef wannabes were put through the proverbial wringer, cooking four dishes under threat of execution, I mean, elimination. No wonder that they were sniping bundles of nerves by the end of their day.

But we get ahead of ourselves.

Early one bright morning, the chefs march into the Hilton kitchen, unaware of the long day that stretches ahead. First up: baby food! Make a dish that will appeal to new parents Tom and Padma, and include a puree version for babies. There will be two winners, who each get $10,000. If Arnold were to win ten grand, he'd send it to a charity that helps HIV orphans. If Alex were to win, he wants an eight-ball and a hooker, he maybe-kinda-not-really jokes. Stay classy, Alex.

The chef who have kids get all chest-puffy that they have an inside angle, while the chefs without kids look stricken. (It's really not that hard, guys.) People whip out all sorts of things like fenugreek broth, baby carrots, curry chicken (for a baby?) and a ginger-peach pork loin. Timothy, Kevin, Alex and Kelly get thrown under the bus at judging. Tom anoints Tamesha (vegetable chowder with lobster) as his winner, while Padma picks Kenny (curried chicken with mango salad).

For the elimination challenge, the chefs pair off into teams of two (you can just hear their hearts dropping) for a three-part race to create a dish for the Hilton. After each service (breakfast, lunch and dinner) the winners are saved while the losers truck on. At the end, one team of two packs their knives.

Immediately, there's tension in the teams. Ed and Alex can barely abide each other, yet somehow end up together. Angelo hates nearly everyone but tolerates Tamesha. Timothy makes a beeline for Tiffany, who is a little superstitious of his recent bad luck. No one wants to pick Amanda (we get it) so she ends up with Stephen. Kelly goes with Andrea. Gruff Lynne and perky Arnold get together.

Welcome the judges, who include Bryan Voltaggio, Mike Isabella and Spike Mendelsohn plus Eric Ripert, a Hilton lady and another restaurateur whose name we didn't catch.

Round 1: Breakfast
Who wins: Timothy and Tamesha, for their crab cake benedict, which was all Tiffany's doing. Amanda and Stephen (poached egg with pancetta and potato rosti) are also saved. Take that Amanda-haters.
Who fails: The Alex & Ed show forgets to add a hotcake to their dish, plus run out of time to add the hollandaise.

Round 2: Lunch
Who wins: Angelo/ Tamesha's beef slivers with jicama-pear salad. Alex / Ed bumble their way to safety with sea scallops with potato gnudi.
Who fails: Andrea, who horrifies the judges when she admits to using canned beans because they were running low on time. How long does it take to cook a bag of beans? Tom says, in that tone of voice that just gets higher with each word but isn't really a question. The other judges shake their heads and put their spoons down.

Round 3: Dinner
Angelo, that classy guy, gloats that he's now safe (yeah, but just barely, buddy) while his nemesis Kenny is still working and can still face going home. Seriously, are these two going to kiss or what?
As the remaining teams head into dinner, their world contracts into tiny tunnel-vision perspective. As the clock ticks down, the chefs have time for decisions and indecisions which a minute will reverse. How much horseradish is too much? Is it it suicidal or efficient to cook fresh pasta 12 minutes ahead of time? Who is paying attention to the jus that will glaze the short ribs?
Who wins: Kelly and Andrea, who make short ribs that show up the ribs put forth by Kenny and Kevin.
Who fails: Kenny/Kevin's ribs come under fire for not having enough oomph in their horseradish sauce. Arnold and Lynne are castigated for undercooked pasta. Throughout prep time, Arnold had pushed to start the pasta, with Lynne holding out against cooking fresh pasta for twelve minutes. She must like it super-crunchy because everyone thought it was undercooked.

Who goes home: Lynne, who deserves it, and Arnold, who doesn't. As Arnold leaves, we say goodbye to the one chef that was kinda all right and might have grown on us. Everyone else is... let's just say it, either bland or obnoxious. We already know who the Robins of this season are, but we're still looking to fill the spots in our hearts previously taken by Eli, Kevin and Jen Carroll. Timothy, Kenny, Tiffany -- step up the charm or this season will be, just like the city it's set in, dominated by unlikable bullies. Thoughts, readers? Anyone you're rooting for yet?

Next week: Angelo and Kenny stoke their bromance by fighting some more. People cook outside and a dish falls onto the ground.